I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
you win again, gameday.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
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