dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
