ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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