kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
