Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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