Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
