How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
