I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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