I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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