So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I skipped work to stalk him.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
