I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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