i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
