if you like me you must not know who I am
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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