What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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