And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
