You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
only you would photoshop your dick
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
