Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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