I'm eating all of the evidence.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
