So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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