Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
one two three fourrrrnication!
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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