Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
sex in a hospital.. check
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
