Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
