Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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