i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
