Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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