hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Randomize
