I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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