I want to stick my p in your. b.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
