is your mom at the bar?
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Princesses don't give blow jobs
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize