My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize