She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
