shes about as inviting as chlamydia
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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