i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Randomize
