Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
