hotel room ftw
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
