In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
