well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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