i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
