Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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