Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
