I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize