We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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