new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Sorry my hands just texted you
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
