im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Mom said you looked used
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
