Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
