Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
