I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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