There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
