just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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