if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
