How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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