My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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