There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
