i wish peter jackson would direct porn
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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