I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
You're like the curious george of whores
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
