i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
