16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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