I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
