what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
