no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
