So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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