Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
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so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
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I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
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